How to haggle in Hong Kong

The only sound in the room is the hum of the ceiling fan and I’m not quite sure what to do now or where to look. My mind starts to wander; I think about whether I could take all three of them down and get outside if things turn sour. I’m confident I could overpower the man sitting down, but then I’d have to take the big one, before diving for the door. Would I make it? Would the door be locked? Would anyone hear me? I try not to meet the gaze of the two men standing against the wall as I look about the room.

“Perhaps there is something else that you like?” He asks.

Forcing a nervous smile I go back to thumbing through the catalogue. Who knows, maybe I missed something. I go back and forth over the same pages for a few more minutes when suddenly the door opens and daylight floods the room for a brief moment before the blackness returns. I turn to see another man enter the room. He hands a small box to the man sitting opposite me and then backs off into the shadows to join the other two. The watch is taken out of the box, checked and then given to me.

It’s very nice. It doesn’t exactly match the one in the catalogue, but it’s pretty close and besides, I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take. I ask how much it is.

“One thousand eight hundred,” he promptly replies.

It goes without saying that bartering is expected and of course all business will be conducted in Hong Kong Dollars. In my head I try to convert this amount into Pounds Sterling and suddenly one of those oversize calculators slides across the table and comes to a stop in front of me. Evidently a number of other hapless travellers have been in this same predicament in the past.

This works out to about £150 and I want to get him down to £100 if possible, which is about HK$1,200. I consider going in low at about £80, this equates to HK$960, so I round it up to 1000 then pass the calculator across the table so my adversary can see it. He lets out a little laugh, quickly hammers the keys and leans forward across the table, turning the calculator back to face me. It shows 1,600, so I divide by 12 to see the amount in Pound Sterling, which is just over £130. I still have a long way to go and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get him down to the amount I’m prepared to pay. I tap out 1100 and slide the calculator back across the table. I begin to wonder if they’ll actually let me out of here alive if we don’t agree on a price. Is that what happened to all the other unfortunate travellers who found themselves unwitting captives in this Kowloon corrugated-iron hut from hell?

The calculator is passed to and fro and we stare at each other like the last two players left in a high stakes poker game. He’s been steadily forcing me to raise my bids and I’m now up to 1,300 Hong Kong Dollars, which is nearly £110. I ask myself how much do I really want this watch? After all, it’s not exactly the one I wanted and it is quite a lot of money. I give it a careful look over once more and right then, in a sudden spasm of courage, I decide not to buy it. I start to slowly shake my head and make it clear that I’m no longer interested. He leans forward, grabs the calculator and enters a new amount, showing it to me. I shake my head again and now I really want to get out of here.

He gestures to the catalogue and asks, “Is there something else you like?”

I politely say no and thank him very much for his time. He remains seated, the smoke from his cigarette floats upward to form a lingering haze in the room. I slowly rise from my chair – if anything is going to happen, I’m guessing it will be about now. I push my chair under the table, which makes a sudden, harsh scraping sound. I cringe and hold my breath at the same time. Making my way to the door, I force a weak smile at the man standing nearest to it and try what appears to be a door handle. If this is locked, I’m in real trouble. At first it doesn’t seem to budge. I nervously throw a glance back at the man still sitting at the desk and try again. With a little more force the door opens and this time and I don’t look back. Squinting in the bright sunshine, I half-heartedly close it behind me and head straight into the surging sea of people outside. Soon I’m swept far away by the current of the crowd.

But that isn’t the end of this story.

After meandering through the marketplace for a few minutes, and confident that no one is actually chasing after me, I try to get my bearings and determine roughly where Nathan Road is. I vaguely recognize some of the big buildings in the distance and set off in what I think is the right direction, weaving once again through the jungle of shantytown-style stalls selling everything from hot food, cold food, clothes, rugs, shoes, pots and pans. I eventually reach a main road and I know I’m not far away. After another 20 minutes or so, I come out onto Nathan Road about four or five blocks further up from where I started. I pop into a nearby convenience store and buy a well-deserved Diet Coke.

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