A break up letter to Los Angeles

Where should I begin with this tale of heartbreak? We first met 14 years ago, I remember it vividly. You can’t deny there was an instant spark and an unquestionable chemistry between us. Others had said that you were smug and soulless, but I believed you were just misunderstood. Mesmerised by how stunning you could look, I was swept up staring at the endless sea of shimmering lights and the gently swaying palm trees, everyday had a beautiful sunset and the rolling blue waves of the Pacific Ocean crashed onto your beaches in Venice. From that moment onwards you were never far away in my thoughts. I’d listen to music and wish I was with you, I’d watch movies and think of you and I’d stare out of the window and wonder what the weather was like where you were.

Years passed and I would try everything possible to see you whenever I could, managing a fleeting visit here and there. Then last year everything changed, I was able to see you on a regular basis and we were both ready to enter into a relationship. The more time we spent together the more I wanted to know everything about you and I was sure you felt the same way. You certainly acted as though you did, but when I made the commitment to come and be with you…suddenly everything changed. I don’t fully understand what happened – I think it’s a combination of many things, but none of that matters now. I certainly gave you enough opportunities, in fact, I did everything I possibly could, but clearly this is not going to work and it’s better for me to move on. So, I just want to say a few things and then say goodbye.

All too soon our relationship became one-sided and then remained that way. I gave you everything and you gave me nothing. Every relationship has ups and downs, but this was different. You must have known I couldn’t carry on like that and I feel so much more positive and energised having broken away. Of course, the feelings I had for you won’t just disappear overnight, I will always wonder what might have been and how close we may have come to making things work. I suppose your true nature has emerged and I’ve been so wrapped up in my feelings that I just could not see the real you. You shattered my dreams, my life and my hopes. Now I can see you were just playing with my emotions and didn’t really care about me at all.

I’m exhausted Los Angeles. I’m tired and worn out. I feel dejected and taken advantage of. Worst, I am forever changed. Who knows how long it’ll be before I can watch movies like Heat, Point Break, Pulp Fiction, Get Shorty or even Fletch again – these were once among my favourite ever films, but now they just remind me of you and it still hurts.

So I’ve moved on. I’m taking things slowly, but I’m with New York now. There are no illusions or false promises and we both know exactly where we stand. In time I’m sure I’ll get to know New York as well as I once knew you, but this will be different; it will be some time before I get close to anyone again.

Your jilted lover.