My magnum opus on Magnum, P.I.

Season five
Season four opts for a light-hearted ending with a tongue-in-cheek variation of Akira Kurosawa’s classic 1950 film Rashomon, based around conflicting witness accounts and season five straight away launches with a strong opener Echoes of the Mind (S5, E1, parts 1 & 2). This is an interesting episode for a number of reasons and it’s immediately evident that the production budgets have been increased. From the outset it feels a little different as a Porsche 911 turbo races along rain-soaked roads at night to the tune of the Blade Runner end title music by Vangelis, just moments before it gets driven off a cliff. Sharon Stone guest stars as the bonkers blonde bombshell behind the wheel at a point where her career was just beginning to gather momentum. Along with a more audacious plot, this episode is just one of the indications that the ante has evidently been upped. The Higgins-focussed sub-plot is a bit weak, but this two-parter sees the relationship between Higgins and Magnum grow even stronger and gives us some entertaining Fight Club-esque themes – even a similar ending of sorts – 15 years before Tyler Durden appeared on cinema screens.

What’s great is that the very next episode, Mac’s Back (S5, E2) follows directly on after the events of the Echoes of the Mind two-parter. Consequently, without giving too much away, we get to see Magnum probably at his lowest ever. He’s off the rails a bit and sports the scraggy hair and beard as the losses of many of those he’s cared about begin to mount up, adding a whole new dimension to his character. Sadly though, what could’ve been a fascinating journey through the darkest corners of Magnum’s subconscious instead turns into a slapstick comedy caper.

Another interesting and unexpected episode is Blind Justice (S5, E6) where Magnum is hired by Carol to help find evidence to convict a wife-beating husband of murder. Along the way, Magnum finds evidence that the suspect isn’t guilty of this murder…but is guilty of a previous murder that he was cleared of a few years ago, presenting our plucky private eye with a considerable ethical quandary. Combined with some witty and well-written dialogue, this makes for a compelling episode, which is more than can be said about the next one, Murder 101 (S5, E7). Magnum basically proves he should stick to being a private investigator and forget trying to be a educator. Yeah, feel free to skip this one. The subsequent episode Tran Quoc Jones (S5, E8) follows Magnum’s efforts to find a young American/Asian boy’s long lost father. What’s interesting about this episode is that it’s more or less the back story of Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The kid looks identical, is about the same age, of similar American/Asian decent and he’s grown up on the streets pulling scams to survive. Add to which the air date of this episode is November 1984 and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was released in May of 1984…plus we know that Magnum, PI and the Indiana Jones movies have links.

Luther Gillis is a little like Marmite, you either love him or hate him and he makes his almost routine seasonal appearance in Luther Gillis: File #001 (S5, E9). In a similar manner to Flashback (S3, E6) Magnum, PI dives into the realms of fantasy in Kiss of the Sabre (S5, E10) in which events unfold through the perspective of a pulp detective story, being written by a guest of Robin Masters. It’s quite amusing and worth a watch just to see the late, great Paul Gleason act out the part of a French Interpol agent.

By now, the reoccurring Mac replacement is firmly established. Actor Jeff MacKay had close ties to Bellisario having appeared in Black Sheep Squadron. He left Magnum, PI to co-star in Tales of the Gold Monkey, another Bellisario production that was heavily influenced by the cinematic success of Raiders of the Lost Ark. However, it was cancelled after just one season, so Mac-lookalike Jim Bonnick was created and Magnum even insists on referring to him by the name of his dead friend. Little Games (S5, E11) is almost a cross between Sneakers and The Pink Panther. Our mustache-sporting stud-muffin gets to lock lips with the angelic Jenny Agutter, arguably the most gorgeous woman who ever walked the Earth and the legendary Cesar Romero even gets a whole four minutes of screen time. The plot of this episode would be utterly redundant if Magnum had only thought to switch Robin Master’s computer system off and on again, instead he is forced to enlist the help of the mischievous Mac.

Professor Jonathan Higgins (S5, E12) is a parody of both George Bernard Shaw’s classic play Pygmalion – the protagonist of that play is Professor Henry Higgins – and the better known Lerner and Loewe musical adaption My Fair Lady. Needless to say, if you’re British, the cockney accent put on by Jillie “Mrs Selleck” Mack is positively excruciating, much like it was in Rembrandt’s Girl (S4, E14). The episode Compulsion (S5, E13) has Magnum protecting Carol after she’s threatened by a stalker. She even propositions him with a seductive look and a glance to the bedroom before he retires to the sofa like the unswerving knight in shining armor he is.

This episode also features one of my most favourite moments in the entire series of Magnum, PI – although sadly it’s not really used to its full potential. The secondary plot has Higgins dealing with the quandary of maintaining the lie to his old Sandhurst chums that he is in fact the owner of the Robin’s Nest estate and Magnum, Rick and TC go out of their way, without being asked, to reinforce the illusion. Thomas becomes the butler, Rick takes on the duties of head chef and TC of course becomes Higgins’ personal chopper pilot. The look of overwhelming emotion of Higgins’ face is enough to bring a tear to your eye and from this moment forth the viewer knows, without any shred of doubt, that any argument about using the Ferrari or losing a camera lens is purely superficial and their friendship has an unshakeable, rock-solid foundation. (This is even further reinforced in the next episode.) David Hemmings pops up and despite probably being better known these days for big-budget roles in movies like Gladiator, the British actor was actually quite involved in the 80s TV scene, both in front and behind the camera. Not only did he play Dr Charles Henry Moffet, the psychopathic genius who designed Airwolf, but he also directed a number of episodes of Airwolf, The A-Team and Magnum, PI including this one.

It’s clear that Mr Bellisario was heavily influenced by movies of the time. Writers all over Hollywood were ripping off adapting ideas and applying them to television. Airwolf wouldn’t have existed without Blue Thunder. Automan had nothing to do with Tron I’m sure. Tales of the Gold Monkey and Bring ‘Em Back Alive were both heavily influenced by the Indiana Jones movies…and so on. The only two-part episode of this season, All For One (S5, E14, parts 1 & 2) shares a similar “return to ‘Nam” theme common in many movies of the time. Robert Forster guest stars as a former Vietnam War buddy who drags Magnum, TC and Rick back to South East Asia to rescue another POW buddy. While this episode could’ve been quite formulaic, what makes it so entertaining is that not only do we get to see Magnum in full camouflage, shooting a HK MP-5SD3 modern day Navy SEAL assault rifle, but Higgins insists on coming along and consequently saves Rick’s life. Ultimately, as the plot unfolds, the four of them are forced to engage in heated combat in the Cambodian jungle, thus cementing their camaraderie frankly, for the rest of their lives.

Almost predictably, the relatively gritty and action-packed All For One two-parter is followed by the absurd The Love-For-Sale Boat (S5, E16) featuring the annoying Mac character who, for some reason, people still seem to give the time of day to, despite the fact that he happily double-crosses everyone at every opportunity. Another contender for Top 5 Worst Episodes right here. The next few are a mixed bag of overacting, underacting and absurd plots and characters, including the possible creator of Skynet in Ms Jones (S5, E18). The Man From Marseilles (S5, E18) is not without its flaws, but it has some interesting undertones, plus Magnum has to sing karaoke and looks as uncomfortable doing it as we are watching it. The subsequent Torah, Torah, Torah (S5, E19) is fun but farfetched and in the finalé of this season, A Pretty Good Dancing Chicken (S5, E20) we get to see Magnum deliberately put in prison in order to find Carol’s missing cousin.

Season six
The opening credits for this season has added a few more clips for each character as they’re introduced, Magnum paddling hard on his surf ski, Higgins looking quizzically at Magnum’s rubber chicken, TC standing next to his chopper smiling, Rick jumping throw a window in Marine ODs spraying an Uzi…that sort of thing and again, a feature-length episode opens this new season – although not technically a two-parter. Despite using that psychic-PI, id-based-investigation plot device that Magnum, PI relies on from time to time, this has unexpectedly found itself in my list of top 10 episodes. Deja Vu (S6, E1, parts 1 & 2) is a full-on Brit-fest set in locations around London circa 1985 and Buckinghamshire, including Marylebone Station, Covent Garden, Fitzrovia and Lancaster Gate. It’s actually really fun to see the old trains with the doors that you had to open by sliding down the window with sheer brute force and reaching outside to twist the handle. The primary plot and both the Higgins and TC sub-plots are engaging and well-written and there’s an entertaining twist at the end. A medley of guest British actors includes Peter Davison, Julian I-only-play-bad-guys Glover and the mind-meltingly sensual Francesca Annis. Through a couple of brief flashbacks we also get to see Magnum serving with a different unit in Vietnam than the VMO-2 Da Nang team of TC, Rick, etc. Here he’s working with some sort of black ops assassination squad.

Because this episode was aired as a feature length, not strictly speaking a two-parter, there’s a little confusion of wether to call the next episode Old Acquaintance, episode two or three. IMDb says two and Magnum Mania says three. However, we’re in agreement with the former. In a plot reminiscent of the 1973 movie The Day of the Dolphin starring George C. Scott, Paul Sorvino and Fritz Weaver and the 1978 Wonder Woman episode The Deadly Dolphin, an old friend from Magnum’s high school days, needs his help to track down a stolen dolphin that has been loaded with explosives to blow up the private yacht of a visiting overseas dignitary. It’s a little absurd, but there’s a few interesting things to take note of. We’re introduced to TC’s friend Rodney Radcliff, the man who designed the Island Hoppers logo and did the custom paint jobs on the chopper and van. He’s a great character, played by Lee de Broux – probably best know for playing the cocaine kingpin Sal in RoboCop (1987). It’s a damn shame Rodney wasn’t used in any more episodes. We also get to see a real life college yearbook photo of Tom Selleck circa 1963.

Our ditzy, dimpled detective continues to be a magnet for raving mad redheads, bonkers brunettes and bunny-boiling blondes as we see in The Kona Winds (S6, E3). Alongside the main plot, it’s fun to watch Higgins and Magnum prepare the estate for a tropical storm that’s heading for Hawaii. The Hotel Dick (season 6, episode 4) guest stars Candy Clark, who also co-starred in the epic American Graffiti and received an Academy Award nomination for her efforts. In essence, Magnum is trying his hand at a ‘staff job’, a more stable alternative to the often unpredictable and irregular work that comes with self-employment. He’s an in-house detective for a hotel and almost straight away we see him clash with the hotel manager played with relish by Granville Van Dusen.

Season six is full of surprises, successfully keeping the series fresh, plus Magnum isn’t trying quite so hard to shag everything in sight. Going Home (S6, E6) was just one of many episodes I’d never seen before embarking on this Magnum, PI magnum opus and it’s my new all-time favourite episode, knocking Home From the Sea (S4, E1) into second place. Interestingly, Going Home also deals with Magnum’s family life, this time Thomas returns home to Tidewater, Virginia after 13 years away to attend the funeral of his grandfather and deals with some very personal family issues while he’s there. Have a box of tissues on standby because by the end, if you’re anything like me, you’ll be blubbing like a baby. This is beautifully written episode, that sadly doesn’t include any of the rest of the gang, but a little break every now is not such a bad thing. There’s a truly wonderful scene where Magnum’s old school friend (played by Joe Regalbuto, who among other things starred in another 80s one-season wonder, Street Hawk) takes him to a high-school reunion that’s been organized purely for Magnum’s return! And everyone there has big print outs of their yearbook photographs. We see Magnum hanging with his old school buddies…it’s really beautiful. We also learn that after Magnum’s father’s death, which we saw in Home From the Sea, his mum remarried and Thomas acquired a step-brother. At the end Magnum says goodbye to his grandfather and visits the Vietnam War memorial in Washington DC on his way back to Hawaii. It’s quite emotional, which is credit to the episode being very well written and produced.

Following that unexpected and extremely moving episode, we return to something a little more light-hearted with Paniolo (S6, E7), which means ‘Hawaiian cowboy’ or ‘chief ranch hand’ and while it’s not as daft as some episodes have been, it does have a little bit of an A-Team helping-needy-folk feel to it. Still, it’s quite watchable as we get to see Magnum chase cattle rustlers and co-star Henry Darrow is in almost every scene. Henry is probably best remembered for his role as Manolito Montoya in the 1960s Western-themed television series The High Chaparral and was the first Latino actor to portray Zorro on television. Magnum also quotes his rate as $200 per diem plus expenses, which equates to over $460 in today’s money. That’s pretty damn good – that’s an annual salary of just under $120k! (If he works 40 hours per week.) We know Magnum’s experiences have evolved into a savior complex, but even when he’s not offering his services out of sympathy, you have to wonder either how little work he gets or how quickly he blows all his cash if he charges that much and still never has any money.

Next up is The Treasure of Kalaniopu’u (S6, E8) which has more than a passing resemblance to It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World starring Spencer Tracy and has every character running amok around the island in a Robin Masters-funded treasure hunt for $1million. While it’s not as bad as  The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii (S1, E7) the incessant screaming of Nancy Stafford’s character is enough to put this one in the Top Five Worst Episodes list. What follows is a bit of a mixed bag; in Blood and Honor (S6, E9) Magnum gets reactivated by the Navy to conduct a molehunt as a favour to his former commanding officer and old friend Admiral Hawkes, who also appeared in Did You See the Sun Rise? (S3, E1, parts 1 & 2). Magnum sees a young boy swimming without any Scuba gear while diving with TC in Rapture (S6, E10), which leads him to uncover the truth about the boy’s murder. Despite some low-budget production values, I Never Wanted to Go to France, Anyway… (S6, E11) shows another welcome instance where Higgins and Magnum further strengthen the bond of their friendship. Summer School (S6, E12) grates a little and guest stars the young Tate Donovan – who will later star in many good TV shows and movies including, 24, Argo and The Man in the High Castle – as Robin Master’s young, spoilt nephew in desperate need of some discipline and direction.

Quite possibly the episode with the highest body count is Mad Dogs and Englishmen (S6, E13) where the end looks like Hot Shots Part Deux, with Magnum, Rick, TC and Higgins using everything from UZIs, MP5s, a .50 cal mounted machine gun and an anti-tank launcher to wipe out dozens of guerilla troops. A good site that details most of the weapons seen throughout Magnum, PI – and many other movies and TV shows – is the IMFDb. Despite an absurdly condensed plot, this episode does feature some nice moments between Higgins and Magnum and even Zeus and Apollo. In fact, there’s even some emotion concerning Apollo in the next episode All Thieves on Deck (S6, E14) as the devoted doberman gets shot by some cowardly crooks that break into the estate. What follows is a moderately ridiculous, but still watchable Murder, She Wrote meets The Love Boat-style caper. Next up is another absurd offering called This Island Isn’t Big Enough… (S6, E15) where Rick goes missing from the King Kamehameha Club yacht. Clyde Kusatsu, who has appeared in quite literally hundreds of movies and TV shows having successfully carved a niche for himself playing minor characters of Asian decent, plays a Hawaiian PD detective with a John Wayne fixation and you can’t help but wonder if this was an experiment to see if he might be more of a reoccurring character is later episodes. Thank God, he wasn’t. We also learn Ice Pick’s real name – Francis Hofstetler.

Ice Pick incidentally pops up in a smart-looking suit and pays a visit to see Magnum in the hospital in Way of the Stalking Horse (S6, E16) far from his natural environment – the sauna – and we get just a little insight to his heavily mafia-linked past. Aside from a few glossed over details, this is a return to Magnum at its almost-best. This episode might not make the Top 10, but it only just misses out. Instead of the usual slight scratch Magnum might get when he’s been shot previously, in this episode we see him rushed to hospital and the staff actually working to save his life in a well-filmed, dramatic scene that could very well come straight from ER or Casualty. Later, with his voiceover, he talks about the psychology of recovering in a powerful monologue.

“After the first time I was wounded in Vietnam, I’d noticed a weird series of reactions to being shot. I’d wondered if anybody had ever written them down like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Death. First, there’s denial. Then comes a giddy kind of relief, shock and surprise at still being alive. All the senses working together in Technicolor and hi-fi at the joy of actually having survived. And then, the paranoia sets in. If it’s happened once, it can happen again. Suddenly, every sound is an approaching enemy, every smell a lethal gas, and no way of knowing whether it’s a mind game, or a clear and present danger. And no way of stoping the heart racing, the palms sweating, until the paranoia stage has slipped into revenge.”

Find Me a Rainbow (S6, E17) drags a bit, but the unfathomably long titled Who is Don Luis Higgins… and Why is He Doing These Terrible Things to Me? (S6, E18) is quite entertaining. Following in the footsteps of  Elmo Ziller and Father Paddy McGuiness, John Hillerman plays the final Higgins’ estranged half-brother, Don Luis Mongueo, from the fictional South American country of Costa De Rosa. Hillerman struggles somewhat with the Spanish accent and sounds like he slips back to Irish on more than one occasion. The penultimate offering of season 6, A Little Bit of Luck… A Little Bit of Grief (season 6, episode 18) comes with a double helping of cheese and is a Rick-centric, Casablanca-esque episode, so no surprise there. We do get to see Ice Pick affirm his affection of Rick when, expressing concern about some unsavory characters during a high-stakes poker game, he tells Rick “…I love you like a son. Be careful.” Plus, possibly the single most surprising guest star in the whole 8 seasons of Magnum, PI pops up here…Bruce Forsyth of all people! He plays a game show host where Rick wins a cool $1 million setting up the rest of the episode’s events. Sadly, season 6 ends more on a whimper than a bang with Photo Play (S6, E20) as Magnum gets lumped with helping an extremely annoying wannabe author who’s being chased by a couple of hoodlums. A couple of fun things to note in this episode is that future Academy Award-nominated actor James Cromwell makes a brief uncredited appearance in the opening scene as a French policeman and Higgins uses a Sony Betamax video recorder and as this point, October 1986, Sony’s superior Beta was losing badly in the first Format War to JVC’s VHS tape system.

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